The Double Edged Sword of Likability

 Likability is a double-edged sword at work. Wanting to be liked is universal and nothing wrong with that. To varying degrees, most of us seek the approval of others.


Let’s talk about how it can hurt us first.  

When you take on a People-Pleaser identity, you start compromising your personal preferences to be liked. You abandon yourself, your feelings, and your true nature. You incorrectly assume that by being agreeable you will be seen as kind. You can’t say no, you feel responsible for how others feel, and you apologize even when it is not your fault.

This behavior can backfire when others start seeing you as less confident and competent. If career progression is a goal, watch out for behaviors that can be perceived as subservient. Don’t play small just to be liked.

Moving on to the helpful side of likability.

When you are seen as a competent and confident go-getter, you may unconsciously take on an aura of arrogance. The conversations you have at work are all about you and your many successes. If you are constantly trying to impress people, it may have the opposite effect. It is off-putting for others in your sphere, and it has the potential to limit your career progress.

Building meaningful partnerships at work needs both likability and credibility. Be genuinely interested in others and listen actively. Follow up with someone just to chat, and not because you need something from them. Your outreach will feel less transactional and more sincere. Your genuine interest in others will move up your likability score and possibly your career trajectory.

I’ll wrap this up by saying, follow the Goldilocks principle when it comes to Likability, not too hot and not too cold.

Do you agree?



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