It's Not Fair or Is it?

 It’s Not Fair! We have all heard children scream these words when they experience an unjust outcome. As rational adults, we acknowledge and accept that life is not fair, but somehow unwittingly get trapped in a cycle of misery and bitterness when things don’t work out ‘fairly’,  in our favor. We doom ourselves to unrelenting frustration when life doesn’t meet our expectations. For example, you are burned by toxic office politics. You are exhausted watching less experienced and less competent team members get ahead. You question the futility of your skills and efforts. Most of us have been sucked into the ‘woe is me’ vortex, at some point or the other.

 

Your read of the situation ‘may’ be accurate, but ruminating about it incessantly, only adds insult to injury. The unfortunate outcome of replaying the latest  ‘unfairness’ saga repeatedly in our heads leads to chronic misery and bitterness and impacts how we show up every day. The personality that comes through in work meetings is unappealing to others, further inhibiting any possibility of career progress.

 

So, what do we do when we are angry and bitter about an ‘unfair’ outcome? As the Oscar Wilde quote below says, it may be here to strengthen and promote you. See it as a challenge with a hidden gift. Think back about a prior experience that initially felt like an obstacle, but later proved to be a redirection to something better. Our difficult experiences of the past played a crucial role in shaping who we are today. Tough times force us to respond in ways that we could not have imagined. Challenges clarify what we truly want in life. We have all seen highly successful people credit their resilience and persistence in the face of a challenge, as the foundation of their success.

 

When confronted with a challenge, believe that it is here to help you reach heights you haven’t imagined. Your goal is to seek to understand the message buried in the challenge. Grow your self-awareness, harness hidden gems from your history, validate the congruence of your goals with your values, and map a path to a more fulfilled you. When the going gets tough, remember that life is presenting you with an opportunity for growth and progress.