Project YOU

  It’s Not Fair! We have all heard children scream these words when they experience an unjust outcome. As rational adults, we acknowledge and accept that life is not fair, but somehow unwittingly get trapped in a cycle of misery and bitterness when things don’t work out ‘fairly’,  in our favor. We doom ourselves to unrelenting frustration when life doesn’t meet our expectations. For example, you are burned by toxic office politics. You are exhausted watching less experienced and less competent team members get ahead. You question the futility of your skills and efforts. Most of us have been sucked into the ‘woe is me’ vortex, at some point or the other.   Your read of the situation ‘may’ be accurate, but ruminating about it incessantly, only adds insult to injury. The unfortunate outcome of replaying the latest  ‘unfairness’ saga repeatedly in our heads leads to chronic misery and bitterness and impacts how we show up every day. The personality that comes throu...

  Does it annoy you when people waste your time? I have to assume the answer is a resounding ‘YES’, especially when you are working on important activities. Have you experienced weeks when you wanted to wrap up an important task, only to have a coworker hijack your plan with impunity for their urgent tasks? This lack of planning on their part was a pet peeve of mine and that raised my sensitivity to the limited time of my colleagues. In fact, year after year, in my annual performance self-assessment, I would include a line about the care and respect I showed for everyone’s time. I wore it as a badge of honor. We experience this lack of respect regularly when we spend more time than we should on comprehending poorly formulated emails, or sit through a meandering meeting with no agenda. Sadly, time is the only thing in life that you can never get back once it’s gone. How are you protecting your most valuable resource? Care to share? I protect the first three hours of my day ...

Have false comparisons and the accompanying judgments brought you down? The operative word here is ‘false’. Comparison is valuable when deciding between ‘similar’ products and we do that often before we order online. Humans, on the other hand, are unique, complex, and multi-dimensional. When we compare ourselves to others, the judgment we make and the conclusions we arrive at are often counterproductive. Often, the data gathered is faulty and the filters we use are skewed toward one outcome, which is to confirm our bias that the other person has it is better than us. At the same time, we ignore our gifts, strengths, virtues, and values. Social media posts with exotic vacation pictures, glamor shots, and recognitions are highlight reels of others. Sadly, we compare that to our everyday. It is easy to fall prey to comparisons and doubt our own competencies and self-worth. As Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote noted, ‘Comparison is the thief of joy”. Besides stealing your joy, the ...